Success is first and foremost an emotion, it is something we feel. We strive for success because of the positive feelings that we associate with it. When we imagine ourselves successful, we imagine ourselves happy, with feelings of triumph, exhilaration, and contentment.
Success is often determined by external factors, particularly in the workplace. If you are employed, your feelings of success may come from being promoted, taking on a role that commands authority, achieving a high level of income, and professional qualifications. All of these can give us a feeling of self-worth.
If you are self-employed you may measure your success in building your business – your turnover, your profit, the number of people you employ, or, by developing a recognisable and respected brand.
A feeling of success on a personal level will often come from owning a nice home, your dream car, money in the bank and providing a great lifestyle for your family.
We often look for endorsement of our success from others, an award or certificate, public recognition, something to share on social media. However, relying on the endorsement of others can be disappointing. We must learn to recognise our own value and give ourselves a pat on the back.
Most of us can achieve amazing things, so what holds us back? Why do we sometimes resist achieving what we most want, why do we settle for mediocrity?
One common reason for resistance is because our self-image is stuck in the wrong place. For example, we might consciously desire something better in our life, but our self-image keeps us trapped in this place that tells us ‘people like me don’t’.
We see ourselves (self-image) as a completely different person, possibly unworthy of achieving this thing that we long for. Consequently, despite wanting something better, we dwell in this place, constantly reinforcing the past, as opposed to rising above this and building the better future self.
We can easily talk ourselves out of going for a promotion, asking for a pay rise, starting a new business, taking the obvious next big step. Self-doubt creeps in, our confidence dips and we let the opportunity pass us by.
Sometimes finding success through achievement comes at a cost, a price we are simply not prepared to pay. In our work we look for progression and this may result in a new role with a generous salary. While this may be what you have been striving for it has to be balanced with other areas of your life.
We often have to make tough choices. Be successful at work and risk missing out on time with friends and family and other hobbies which enrich our lives.
When you run a business, you are often called upon to make tough decisions. However, what would be the best decision for your company for growth and profitability may not sit comfortably with your values, the reason you started your own business in the first place.
So is success due to wealth, power, and position? Or is there more to it than this? Should we take a more balanced view and work on having a ‘successful life’.
What does success mean to you?
Maybe we should focus on a more holistic approach to success, living a successful life. One that goes beyond the public recognition.
What might that look like?
How do we begin to life more successful lives?
- Peace of mind, contentment with your lot.
- Health and energy – without these we can often feel frustrated if they hold us back from doing the things we love.
- Loving relationships – having people around us that we care about, who care about us.
- Financial comfort, enough money to pay the bills and have some left over at the very least.
- Something to strive for, to give meaning and purpose to our lives.
- Understanding and acceptance of self
Measure your personal success by writing a list of your achievements in life, remind yourself of your true value, moments of personal pride, times of celebrated success. Keep adding to it, recognising that every day brings small successes, sometimes they go unnoticed. You must recognise them all and learn to reward yourself.
Congratulate yourself as you would congratulate others.
To discuss your path to success contact Kate Wilde
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